


Saint Mary's Hospital

by paupotter_4869



Series: The Most Important Thing. . . [25]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Light Angst, i'm sorry for this it breaks my heart but you knew this one was coming, silver linings ahead, st mary's hospital, the truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paupotter_4869/pseuds/paupotter_4869
Summary: Ellie wants to learn the truth about what happened with the Fireflies in Salt Lake City and so, she flees Jackson overnight. Joel goes after her and brings her back to town, scared out of his mind of the possibility of losing Ellie.
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Series: The Most Important Thing. . . [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033674
Kudos: 17





	Saint Mary's Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything. All credit to Naughty Dogs.

The blaring sun and the clear blue sky were definitely good fortune omens, Joel settled when he left home. He’d had a bad feeling for the past couple of weeks, worried and anxious over the poignant conversation he’d held with Ellie down there at the café. Bringing back the bodies had cast a gloomy atmosphere all over town, although they’d soon recovered. Death was a frequent visitor and an old friend for them all, and they’d all long learned to move on with their lives after getting bad news. 

No one could live stuck to the past. Joel could only hope Ellie would eventually believe and feel the same. It was the only way to survive. 

However, he’d woken up with renewed spirits for once, rejuvenated, and the bright sun was sort of confirmation to that. Joel turned right toward the so-called Main Street, already busy and crowded with people headed towards their chores, whatever they might be. 

He’d woken up late, there was no doubt about it, although there was no cause to alarm: there were no impending or urgent reparation tasks around town planned for today, and he wasn’t on rotation for patrol duty, either. Although truth be told, his volunteering for patrols had diminished gradually—letting the younger generations take over, he’d said. He couldn’t deny, too, the fact that he was getting on a bit. 

“Oh, hey there, Joel,” Laura greeted him in front of the canteen. “Bit of a late start, haven’t we?” 

“Mind your own business,” scowled Joel, offering her a wink to prove he was only partially teasing her. 

He stepped forward and held the door open for her, getting a fond, appreciative smile in return for his gentlemanliness gesture. From where he was standing, he could feel the heat from inside, hear the varying conversations from friends and neighbors, and the consequent pearls of laughter. Late or not, this meeting was the reason why he’d come to the canteen despite the fact he’d already had breakfast this morning. 

Once per week, Joel met neighbors and friends for breakfast at the canteen, where they retold stories, shared laughter, and simply enjoyed the quiet life Jackson offered them. Although being honest, Joel’s presence at breakfast took place more and more often by every passing month, as his attendance at patrols diminished gradually. 

“Thank you,” said Laura. 

Behind the woman, Joel saw someone whose unexplained presence there and then made him freeze completely. 

Surprised at Joel’s sudden frightened reaction for no apparent reason, Laura looked over the shoulder, and frowned upon seeing only Jesse. She positioned herself to make space for Jesse to step inside the canteen, too. 

“Would you like some breakfast, darling?” she offered, pointing inside. 

As much as Ellen was able to focus on pleasantries such as Jesse’s wanton for food or beverages, Joel’s mind was piling up with more pressing and distressing enquires. Wasn’t Jesse supposed to be on patrol this morning? Wasn’t Ellie supposed to be his partner today? And, last but not least, where the hell was Ellie? 

Before having any answers, much less the confirmation that something was astray, Joel found he was having a hard time breathing. After so much time living in Jackson, after Ellie had proven herself competent and skilled enough on her every patrol out there, didn’t matter what sort of Infected she faced, he’d stopped worrying every minute and second where she was away on patrol duty. But at that moment, it all came back to him in a horrible whirlpool, an unstoppable tsunami, an unescapable avalanche. 

“Joel?” He barely heard Laura’s voice tainted with worry, nor felt her hand on his shoulder as she attempted to snap him out of his panicked blur. 

He turned towards Jesse. “What happened?” he asked, although he could predict the answer. 

“She didn’t show up for patrol. I’ve already been to her place—she’s not there. Her backpack and jacket are gone, too.” 

“Check with the…” 

“Already did,” Jesse interjected—knowing Joel would first instruct him to talk with Jason and Carter, the two people guarding the front entrance this morning. “There’s a horse missing, but they didn’t see her. Must have slipped past them.” 

“That’s fairly encouraging,” Joel mused, but he knew no one could be careless enough to let an Infected pass through the gates. On the other hand, Ellie could outsmart almost anyone, so it didn’t come as a surprise. “You, come with me. Laura, do me a favor and get a hold of Tommy and Maria.” 

The first order of business: check Ellie’s place, even if it could potentially be a waste of time, as Jesse told him again, he’d already looked for the girl in there. 

“Joel, I told you, she’s not there.” 

The man only grumbled in response as he walked up to the doorstep. His plan wasn’t looking for Ellie in the cupboard or under her bed; he just needed to check if she’d left some kind of note explaining where she’d run off to, or why. Although he had a fair idea. 

Despite the pressing matter of time running, he stopped and stood for a couple of seconds on the outside of Ellie’s place, reluctant to enter. He hadn’t been in there before without Ellie’s explicit permission—they’d agreed, he would respect her space and privacy. He knew he wasn’t going to get the permission to enter if he remained there for a thousand years, of course. Still, he opened the door with sweaty hands, knowing deep inside he was violating Ellie’s trust. 

Not that any traces of love and trust remained, though. 

He ran a quick check-up of the house. The place was messy, as usual, being emancipated couldn’t have possibly changed that. Still, he knew where to look, and he couldn’t find any notes or messages anywhere. As Jesse had mentioned, only her backpack, hiking boots, and jackets were missing—more signs pointing to her fleeing Jackson. 

“What is it?” Jesse demanded in a whisper. He, too, felt uneasy coming into this place without Ellie present as well. 

With another one of his grunts-answers, Joel turned around and left Ellie’s place. He should be on his way already, but it’d be nice to have a confirmation of _where_ he was supposed to ride off to. There was one more spot he needed to check. 

Joel found what he was looking for even before he climbed up the steps to the porch—hidden under a flowerbed there was a piece of paper. What with his high hopes twenty minutes earlier about having a good day, he’d missed out on that paper completely. He was stunned at his own naiveté from twenty minutes earlier and could barely believe what an ignorant, blissful fool he was when all he had in mind was meeting some friends at the canteen. 

`I’m sorry, Joel, but I’ve got to do this. I need answers. I cannot stand any more lies. I have to know what happened back then, ` the note read. Joel let out a scowl and crumpled the piece of paper inside his fist. 

“Was that Ellie’s? What’s it say?” Jesse asked. 

Those scribbled lines were all the confirmation Joel needed, after all. He entered his home, slamming the door behind him without letting Jesse follow suit--even though he hadn’t consciously decided to shut him out. It was just, Ellie was the only thing he could focus on or think about right now. No one else. 

It took him less than five minutes to gather his stuff and have his backpack ready—it hadn’t been that long since his last patrol, after all. Jesse was still standing out there by the time he came out, and so was Laura, although Joel frowned at Maria and Tommy’s absences. Was his whole family gone today without any prior warning? 

“You’re going after Ellie?” 

“Yes, I know where to find her,” Joel confirmed, descending the steps. 

“Tommy’s out on patrol, and Maria went to check the dam,” Laura explained as the three began walking down the street towards the main entrance. 

“Send someone out to report the situation to Maria,” instructed Joel—although there were one too many people outside of Jackson today, the couple needed to be on the loop of these recent events. “They will know where Ellie’s going, as well, but don’t let them or anyone else chase after me or Ellie. We’ll be fine.” 

“ _Where_ are you headed, then?” Jesse demanded. 

He avoided the question as if it were a horde of Infected. In the midst of a poignant and painful silence, they made it to the stables, where Joel demanded a rested horse to go out for a little ride. Word must have gotten out already, for no one questioned his order, nor his reasons for going after Ellie. If there was a single person who should take care of the situation and bring Ellie back to town, it was him. 

On the other hand, he was also the least appropriate person to take care of the situation and bring her back. He tried pushing those thoughts aside. 

“Joel,” Jesse called him out again before he got onto his horse. “Be careful.” 

“I’ll be back at sundown,” he said, and then realized his mistake. “ _We_ . . . We will be back at sundown.” 

Within minutes, Joel strode off, spurring Hoofer as fast as he knew his young legs could take the race through the woods. He balanced an adequate speed with the carefulness to avoid any fatal accident for humans or animals. 

He was, of course, headed towards St. Mary’s Hospital in Salt Lake City—it was the only place she could find answers. The answers she’d been mulling over, obsessed over, ever since their conversation a few weeks back. He needed to find her and stop her before she inspected the place and saw it all with her eyes. He just needed the chance to explain. 

The time for lies was long past, but there was a good and a bad way of getting her answers, and if it came to it, he’d rather he told her everything first-hand. If she went into that Hospital on her own, she’d see all the corpses, the doctors, the guards, even Marlene’s. The crime scene of his mass-murdering streak, pristine and unchanged, all wrapped up for Ellie to see and figure out what he did back then. 

He found her outside of the hospital and the relief that flooded him made it impossible at the beginning to gauge Ellie’s expression and state of mind. He’d been so scared, and he was so reassured after seeing her safe and sound, that he went straight for the hug, needing the physical touch to further confirm that it was Ellie and that she was unscathed. 

“What the hell were you thinking, running off in the middle of the night like that? You talk to me, kiddo,” he said, exasperated. 

It took him a second longer to gauge Ellie’s humor—it wasn’t until she forcibly pushed him away that he realized how wrong things were. 

“Tell me what happened here. If you lie to me one more time, I’m gone. You will never see me again. But if you tell me the truth, I’ll go back to Jackson. No matter what it is. Just say it,” she begged him. 

There was no decision to make there and he came clean about everything. All along, he’d only tried to protect her—lying about what had transpired was meant to protect her. And the prospect of losing her because of his previous lies was. . . Unthinkable. Too terrifying. Telling her the truth was a small price to pay. 

However, judging by the look on Ellie’s face, he realized that it might have been too late. She shrugged off his hand, even though she used to find him for solace, even though he was only trying to soothe her and snap her out of the nervous breakdown she seemed to be suffering. And when she stood, tall, in defiance, for a frightening moment he feared she would break her promise right then and there. 

“I’ll go back. But we’re done.” 

She rode first, her shoulders dropped, without uttering a single word on their way back. When they’d first met, he could have bribed her to keep her quiet and silent, but now it only saddens him, a sample of the life that’s to come for them. He feared he’d been too late to salvage any remnants of their relationship. 

It was dark by the time they got to Jackson and they were met by a dozen neighbors by the entrance. The same relief Joel had felt upon seeing Ellie unscathed washed over all the welcoming party, although everyone got a taste of Ellie’s sour mood soon enough. 

Without addressing an appreciative look or word to the gathered well-wishers, Ellie delivered her horse’s reigns to Margot and left the stables, making her way forcefully through the surprised crowd. After sharing one baffled look with Joel, who sighed in response, Jesse and Dina went after Ellie. At least Joel could rest assured she wouldn’t be alone tonight, as she processed the news. 

Back to his answers in the form of grunts and monosyllables, the neighbors realized Joel wasn’t keen to give any explanations for Ellie’s flight or her whereabouts throughout the day. 

“Alright, folks, the show’s over,” Maria said. “Everybody go home.”

Almost everyone scattered at that point, with only Alicia, Maria, and Tommy lingering behind. The former understood she was not needed there and made herself scarce without a word. In a whisper, gentler than Joel could have been at a time like this, Tommy asked his wife to leave them be as well. 

The two Miller brothers stood on opposite sides of the stable. He knew Tommy had stayed behind not only to demand answers about Ellie’s behavior the past few hours, but he was also there for moral support. Joel inspected the darkness and checked over his shoulder before he spoke, making sure no prying ears were nearby. Seemed like everyone had been wise enough to scatter when they were supposed to. 

“She knows everything,” he said, cryptic enough not to tempt fate—a second conversation on a row about Ellie’s immunity was the last thing he needed. He saw the look Tommy addressed him and couldn’t help but add, almost spit, the next words. “Spare me the ‘I told you so’, I’ve got enough in my plate with her hating my gut.” 

“I wasn’t going to say that,” promised Tommy softly. “I was just shocked. Since you told me, I’d feared she would one day demand to know what happened. . .” 

“Well, that day has come.” 

Tommy cleared his throat, uneasy. “Come home to rest. It’ll be alright, you’ll see.” 

At that, Joel snorted, shaking his head. “How many times have you said that to anyone since the Apocalypse and believed it truthfully?” he replied cynically. He didn’t believe Tommy’s words nearly as bad as he wanted them to be true. 

He let Tommy drag him out of the stables and across town—he could feel neighbors staring at them through their windows and did his best not to snap at them. They were simply innocent bystanders. They hadn’t hurt Ellie. They didn’t know a thing about her immunity and what he did to all those doctors who believed they could make a cure for the virus that had killed so many loved ones. They were much better off in the darkness. 

“Tommy, am I. . .?” A tight knot in his throat made it impossible for him to finish the sentence, though, and he stopped walking. He somehow forced himself to push the words out. “Am I going to lose her?” 

“I don’t know. I cannot predict the future,” his brother said very slowly, measuring the toll his words had on Joel. “But I really, really hope you don’t.” 

“Yeah,” nodded Joel in appreciation. 

_Hope._ It was the most terrifying thing in this world, the one thing that could bring men down to their knees. Turn the wisest of people into damned fools. People could lose their sanity over the smallest beacons of hope. Had wishing, hoping, or praying helped them a single time in the past two decades? 

His heart ached, though, for Ellie to understand. He hoped she’d see reason. Joel, wrongly or rightly, only meant to protect a young fourteen-year-old girl who didn’t deserve the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

**Author's Note:**

> Silver linings coming up ahead, I promise!


End file.
